


guardian angels

by citiescoldandempty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s15e18 Despair, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citiescoldandempty/pseuds/citiescoldandempty
Summary: The first time you meet, you know he's special.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	guardian angels

The first time you meet, you know. You know he's special. You feel warm inside, but you don't quite know how to describe the feeling, and you won't have a name for it until years later.

He's the righteous man, and you're the celestial being tasked to save him. And so you do.

With everything you have.

The flames around you burn hot as your wings shield the two of you. And you're flying; you've saved him. It's your job to save him, and you want, with every fibre of your being, to always be there to do so.

The second time you see him, it's in a barn. You have a vessel now, and his eyes are hard with fear as he plunges the knife into your chest. You can't feel the metal sinking into your vessel, but you feel something else. The tiniest flicker of something warm, just like the first time, as you raised him from perdition.

He's beautiful in a way you've never known before. He's kind, he's gentle, he's loving, and he covers it all up with a shell of anger and bitterness. He's been through so much, yet his soul still burns the brightest. You start to fall. 

The other angels, they see it first. They tell you that you're changing, that you've developed a weakness. They try to keep you away from him and you feel pain for the first time. You don't understand.

They tell you that you're broken, with a crack in your chassis. That you're a spanner in the works. You still don't understand. When you're around him, you feel. You see the world a little like he does, and it's fascinating. You want to experience all of it. He makes references to things you can't quite grasp, but then, later, away from his brother, he'll make you watch the movie. And you'll gladly watch it with him because you know it makes him happy.

You're there for him, and whether or not he appreciates it, you're always glad to do it. It's your job, after all. It doesn't feel much like a job anymore though. You always enjoy being with him, even if it's in a way a little different from what you truly want. It doesn't matter, you tell yourself. You'll take his company any way he'll give it to you.

You'd die for him the second he asks, though you know he'll never ask. He's funny like that. He'll die for anyone he loves, but never asks for the same in return. You love him more for it. 

And there it is.

Love.

The feeling you didn't have a name for when you first met. But it's there, and it's been there all along. You love him, and it burned away steadily inside you for years and years.

This time, though. Death is right around the corner, and you're desperate. Your life is nothing compared to his; your angelic being nothing to his soul, brighter and purer than anyone you've ever seen. 

You tell him, and it's freedom.

You're happy, even if he doesn't feel the same. You're happy to save him, because he's the best thing that ever happened to you. He's taught you to love, to love the world, to love humanity, to love _him_. You're happy to have spent all that time with him. And so you tell him.

There are tears in his eyes, a look of defeat and pleading that makes you wonder if maybe he feels the same.

You put your hand on his shoulder one last time, a familiar gesture.

And as the Empty swallows you, you let yourself smile.

Dean Winchester is saved, and your job is done.


End file.
